Dressing for the Occasion...or not

Posted: Sep 10 2014

There was buzz among industry insiders, both fashion and tech industry insiders, about the iWatch. In fact, in an unprecedented move, Apple invited fashion editors to the launch of the iWatch. 

Given the crowd, you'd think that they'd dress for the occasion. Fashion forward, that is...or at least fashionably. But...well, we'll let you decide. In honor of the recently deceased Joan Rivers and on the heels of the announcement, we present to you, WvG's Fashion Police.

The Big Man



Apple CEO Tim Cook has a $600 billion company to run. We can't expect him to be at the cutting edge of the fashion world nor can we expect him to be a trendsetter (well let's hope his attire doesn't catch on). Nonetheless, appearances are important and Tim Cook didn't take much pressure off the appearance of his products yesterday with an outfit that left little to talk about. Or at least the talking he would have wanted.

But to be fair, his outfit wasn't all wrong. We approve of the dark denim (though a little more fitted wouldn't have hurt). Nonetheless, would it have hurt the man to tuck in his shirt? And lose the black undershirt? Dark denim, dark blue shirt, black undershirt? Also, while sneakers are often frowned upon, I say, “to hell with it, Tim.” Keep the sneaks. Tuck in the shirt. Sit back and watch the big bucks roll in.


Marketing Guru


Phil Schiller (above) is worldwide head of marketing for Apple. He's quite the force, quite the figure, and quite influential. And his choice of attire yesterday was quite regrettable.

First we'll start with the positive: Props to big Phil for tucking in that shirt. You're a grown ass man and it's a pretty formal setting. Tucked in seems appropriate, particularly given your age and stature.

Now we'll move to the negative, starting with the button popping shirt. Phil isn't doing himself any favors with that shirt. I mean, the color really doesn't do much in the way of slimming him and the shirt has crossed the line of being fitted. It's downright button popping tight. And, Phil: lose the undershirt...or at least make sure I can't see it.


The Not-so-Nerd



Kevin Lynch, vice president of technology at Apple, pretty much knocked it out of the park yesterday. Dark, fitted denim, a well fitting shirt, baller dork-a-licious glasses and an iWatch. Funny...the guy is supposed to be the least visible and least suave of the bunch (and based on his presentation, that's closer to true than not), but from a fashion standpoint, Kevin has a lot to teach his more often pictured, more visible colleagues at Apple.

Bravo, Kevin! Bravo on it all. And feel free to throw me an iWatch on the house...please?


No..for God's sake...no



Though the Apple leadership team's outfits were mediocre to bad, nothing (I repeat...nothing!) was as bad as the outfit that the presenter from Super Evil Megacorp (yes, that's honestly the company's name) wore.

Truthfully, it's hard to say that the entire outfit was awful because it was hard to pay attention to anything but the goofy ass scarf thing the guy was wearing. I mean, seriously....Apple gives you a shot (and I'm sure hundreds of thousands if not millions of people applied) to demo your product in front of literally tens of millions of people (including replays and livestream viewers). You have a once in a lifetime shot to demo your product. Your life's work. And what do you choose to wear? A scarf that could probably double as a cape. In fact, the presenter probably does wear it as a cape.

The reaction to this scarf wearing man was priceless (see below for just one of the many funny GIFs/photos, etc.).


But the worst thing about the outfit? Not many people paid attention to the actual demo. So that huge audience...that huge opportunity...it was all squandered. Because of a fashion blunder. We feel bad for you bro. Sincerely, we do. And if you happen to see this post, feel free to hit us up at WvG. We'll take care of you.

WvG FP out.


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